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Forum "Korrekturlesen" - Korrektur Brief
Korrektur Brief < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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Korrektur Brief: Korrektur
Status: (Frage) beantwortet Status 
Datum: 20:25 Di 29.03.2005
Autor: Laurie

Hallo ihr, habe die Chance für 3 Monate nach Florida als au-pair zu gehen, muss aber vorher fragen von der familie beantworten, naja und da gehts schon los...kann mich zwar halbwegs gut in Englisch verständigen, aber schriftlich siehts da nicht so gut aus. Hab jetzt was geschrieben aber davon ist mindestens 70% falsch und daher würde ich mich riesig freuen, wenn ihr vielleicht mal Korrektur lesen könntet.

Hello and thanks for your mail.
I was pleased very much about the positive answer. At present I go
into the 13.  Class on a comprehensive school.  I will terminate
these in June.  In the summer I work 3 weeks as responsible person of young people in a youth education center (JBZ). I`m not religious. I live together with my Mum and my Dad in a house.  I have still another older brother and an older sister, which do not live with us.  I am already 3 time aunt, I have 2 nephews and a niece. I`m very interested in other countries and other cultures and  I would like to notice the chance to work as au-pair. Therefore I already think that I can leave my family for a certain period. I haven`t a favorite regular drink, i drink everything from water
to coca cola.  I can inform myself actually well in English, only
with the grammar fold it not in such a way.  Therefore I expect also
by a stay into the USA my English knowledge too improve.  I would
lie, if I would say that my room is always cleared up.  But otherwise
I help much my Mum with that the housework, because I have it already
gladly cleanly.  If I am with others to attendance, I am however very
tidy and also always clear my things, because I find simple that that
is behaviour.  I don`t smoke and I don`t.drink alcohol.  
My favorite Pizza is Pizza Hawaii, because I like ham and Annanas.
Now, I have for 8 months a very dear friend, who is called
Reik.  It is of course a little sad, if I go away however it stand
nevertheless behind me and is pleased with me, if it folds with the
au-pair.  I didn`t have ever a car accident and am also very
glad over it.  I love it to travel.  I was in former times with my
parents also much on journeys.  I was in Turkey, in Bulgaria, in
Tunesien, in Spain, in Grichenland and in Sri Lanka however the USA
would b the largest for me.  I do not carry certain
labels however I go often shopping in the New Yorker, because the clothes aren`t so expensiv and the clothes please me very well. Music-moderately I hear everything, thus of Hip Hop to House actually
participate everything.  Only as hard things as Heavy Metal do not
assure to me in such a way.  My large dream would be to live
in Miami or Florida.  I love the sea and sand beaches over everything
and can nothing more beautiful imagine.  I like animals very gladly,
I have even 2 cats, a rabbit and a dwarf hamster. I can say that
I like all kinds of animals however dearest like I those, with which
I can (schmusen) correctly beautifully as with my cats.  I eat
actually everything gladly except roasts. I like dear cockerel, vegetable and salad.  I have many favourite films however my absolute favourite film is Pearl Harbour.  My friends find the
idea to work as a au-pair very well, because I improve my english knowledge and so I have also a good chance on a training place.
And my parents are a little sad if I go away from home but nevertheless they support me in my project.  I would be pleased really enormous, if
you would accept me as your new au-pair.  

Many dear greetings
Aline


Für eure Hilfe wäre ich wirklich sehr dankbar.

Aline

        
Bezug
Korrektur Brief: Antwort
Status: (Antwort) fertig Status 
Datum: 21:28 Di 29.03.2005
Autor: honey_ill

Puh, ganz schöne Arbeit...
Habe deinen Brief mal ein wenig überarbeitet, aber wahrscheinlich nicht auf Anhieb alle Fehler eliminieren können:

Dear Mr and Mrs ... ,
thank you for your mail. I have been very pleased to hearing from you and about your positive answer.
I visit a comprehensive school in 13th grade and I will finish school this June.
In summer I work three weeks as a kind of groupleader of young people in a youth education center.
I am not religious (evtl solltest du das nicht unbedingt schreiben, da Amis in der Regel sehr religiös sind)
I live together with my parents. My older brother and my older sister are already living on their own. I have to nephews and a niece.
Foreign countries are fascinating me and it would be great for me to get the experiences of working as an au-pair.
Therefore I know that I have no problem to leave my family for a certain period.
I have no favourite drink, but I like e.g. water and coca cola.
My spoken English is quite good, but I could be better in grammar. I hope to improve my English through a stay in the USA.
My room is not always, but most of the time tidy and clean and I always help my mother with the housework.
I don't smoke, take drugs or drink alcohol.
My favourite Pizza is Pizza Hawaii, because I like ham and pineapple.
I never had a car accident. I love to travel, I've already been to countries like Turkey, Spain, Greece and some more.
I like to go shopping, but I don't wear certain labels. I normally buy my clothes in a shop called New Yorker, because it is quite cheap, the quality is good and I like these clothes.
I listen to nearly every kind of music, except Heavy Metal and similar kinds of music.
My dream is to live in Miami or Florida because I love the sea and the beach - there's nothing more beautiful to imagine!
I like animals, I have 2 cats, a rabbit and a hamster, but I like all kinds of animals. My favourite animals are those which I can snuggle (?) with, like my cats.
I eat nearly everything except roasts. I like e.g. cockerel, vegetables and salad.
My favourite movie is Pearl Harbour.
At the moment I have a dear friend called Reik. He, my other friends and my family are of course a bit sad, if I go to the USA, but they all support me in my dreams and wishes.
I would be so pleased if you accepted me as your au pair!
I'm really looking forword to hearing from you!

Best regards
Aline

Bezug
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